ON LIFE, MINE RIGHT NOW

Since I have yet to send out any sort of massive email explaining what I am up to, that I live in Mexico, why I live in Mexico, etc, I’ll take this opportunity to do that.

I live in Mexico.

I was awarded a Fulbright-García Robles Binational Business grant, which is a 10 month grant awarded jointly by the U.S. and Mexican governments. As part of my grant I am working full time as the marketing director for a law firm in Mexico City and am also taking business school classes at the Instituto Tecnológico Autónomo de México (ITAM). I arrived in Mexico in mid August. My grant ends next June, but my plan as of now is to stay in Mexico and try to get a job in consulting.

So far, things are going great. I am having the time of my life. Mexicans are much friendlier than people in Los Angeles (except for the Mexicans) and so I made friends very quickly.

After spending years being very impressed with my Spanish, I arrived here to find out that I in fact suck at Spanish. Last summer, while living in Guatemala, people would guess that I was from Argentina or Spain. Here, where all of my friends and coworkers are very educated and all speak English better than I speak Spanish, the minute I open my mouth every one within hearing distance yells “Gringo!” in order to make it obvious that I have a gringo accent. Everyone also enjoys speaking Spanish to me with a gringo accent. I, however, find that their Gringo accent is not nearly as polished as mine, which at least gives me some ground to stand on. And while I may suck at Spanish, I am the cultural authority on all things American, such as Rap music, Tort Law, the best Fast Food Cheeseburger Restaurants, Toga Parties, the Financial Crisis, in which of Bill Clinton’s two terms the Monica Lewinski Scandal Happened, why my roommate wears a bow tie to parties and how the American Flag manages to end up in any picture of an American.

Although it took a couple of weeks I have finally picked up on Mexican slang, which consists of some variation on the words fart or poop. Some quick examples:

To say “a party,” Mexicans say “a fart.”

To say “a fight,” Mexicans say “a fart.”

To say “he is drunk,” Mexicans say “he is fart.”

To say “what’s up?” Mexicans say “¿What fart?”

To say “what the heck?” Mexicans say “¿What fart?” (but angrily)

To say “he is funny” Mexicans say “He is pooped.”

To say “he drives me crazy” Mexicans say “He poops me.”

The list farts on…